Dear future love of my life,
So today I have this sudden urge to write to you, to tell you how eagerly I am waiting for your arrival, of how I see you in every cute guy, thinking maybe you’re finally about to make your grand entrance and how wrong I am every time and how sad that makes me.
All I want to tell you is please come soon because with each passing day my anxiety keeps on growing, making me more and more confused and unsure about myself. I am broken but nobody knows, I’ve cried myself to sleep but nobody knows because they see the happy go lucky girl, they see the mask I put on every day because I know no one will understand my insecurities.
But there’s one thing I know and that is; you out of all the people will understand, you’ll be able to make out whether I am genuinely laughing or it is just another fake laugh, you’ll know with just one look that my mind came up with something dirty, you’ll understand the crazy innuendos I make me with just that one look because you know there are no limits to the perverted brain I own, you’ll know it because you know me like the back of your hand.
Believe me, I’m eagerly waiting to tell you how much I love you, to kiss you when no one’s looking, I’m eagerly waiting for all the 2 am chats, the sleepless nights, the talking about everything and anything. I want to tell you how big a chocolate fan I am and how much a lazy bum I am, about how much I love Harry Potter and Game of thrones and Sherlock, about how much I love to sing even though it means the other person goes deaf I want to make private little jokes with you and want to laugh until my stomach hurts.
I want to tell you about my favourite books and of how I think about you when the lead character in the book does something utterly cute, of how some song reminds me of you, of how I think of you when Augustus Waters says “Okay”, of how lucky I think I am to have you, my personal Augustus Waters.
And here’s what I want you to do, I want you to tell me that I’m the most craziest person you’ve ever met, how cute I look when I make that monkey face, I want you to tell me about the secrets that you’ve told no one, I want to know your craziest dreams, about your deepest insecurities and trust me when I tell you this; I’ll understand. I want to know what I missed when I was away. Yes there will be times we’ll fight, there will be times when we won’t talk to each other or decide that we cannot be together but how much ever we fight we won’t be able to get away from each other because WE are meant to be.
I don’t know, we already know each other or not, maybe we’ve met or maybe we’ve not, maybe you’re the cute brown eyed guy I once saw at the cafeteria and maybe I am the girl you once saw dancing wildly at a friend’s party and thought of how utterly crazy I was, maybe you are the one I secretly stalked on Instagram, maybe I am the one who keeps popping up in your people you may know list on Facebook.
So here’s the thing, if you are reading this by any chance, I want you to know that I am done waiting, I’m done hooking up with wrong people and getting my heart broken every time, done crying myself to sleep I’m done and I can take it no more, I’m done putting on the mask of someone I’m not, all I want is to be held tight and told that everything is going to be all right and for once I want to believe it.
Maybe you are still with someone thinking of how much you love them or you are just broken as I am whining about how your girlfriend broke up with you or how single you are, hang in there you’ll be fine and even though you don’t know it yet, I’m here for you and you deserve to be the happiest in the world.
I’ll tell you this when you come to me but then you know how much I hate waiting so listen, you are the best person I’ve ever met or will meet and I’m hopelessly in love with you.
P.S: Come soon, we’ve got lots and lots of talking and catching up to do and get lots and lots of chocolates!
lots of love